Self Awareness

One thing that has been stopping me from making the changes I need to make is that I truthfully don't know how to go about it. Last night I was trying to meditate and find some answers as to what I need. What are my needs? I think I've spent so many years just being oblivious that I don't know how to focus on things like that. I am not aware.

I've been searching the internet for websites that might be helpful in giving me things to think about. One site I found today is http://www.selfcreation.com/awareness/ It's going to be interesting.

One of my friends might be coming over today. We are pretty much in the same boat when it comes to this stuff. I'd like to help him out and at the same time I will be helping myself out. All of these things will seem more real when I share them with other people.

We got tons of snow! I couldn't believe it when I left the apartment this morning to take my son to school. As long as the sun is out, I'm OK. The sun represents optimism to me. When the sun is shining, it is a reminder to be optimistic.

I'm starting to feel much better about life. Of course there will be set backs, but I have to learn ways of dealing with those and for dealing with stress. I can sit here, breathe in and out, and think: Things will be OK. Despite everything that has happened, things can still turn out for the better. I can't say for the best, but for the better for sure. Because I want that for myself, for my son, for my family, for my friends. Anyone can have a better life. They have to want it as much as I do. They have to make the kinds of changes that I'm trying to make and I will eventually make. It takes time. I've been talking about this for years. My frame of mind is changing and I needed that for so long. One thing that I can believe in is that things do not always stay the same. If we do something about it, it will change. Once the ball starts rolling, it'll be on a roll. It's like moving a mountain at first, but as it goes, pieces that are no longer needed start to break off until the mountain is no longer so huge. It'll become manageable.