Trying to Forget

I'm trying so hard to forget that dreams don't always come true. I mean I know what I've been dreaming of, I know why I wanted it so bad, for so long.... I know that I will not find it because it only exists in my heart. I realized that the guys that I used to date were extremely selfish. Lots of guys are getting that way. Not all of them but they don't realize that I'm not going to go along with whatever they say.

I got back onto a dating site I haven't used for a long time. I really don't know what brought me back there. I tried speed dating, which didn't work. I don't think I'll ever meet 'the one' because he doesn't exist. I keep hoping a dreaming like an idiot with my head in the clouds. It's not helping. I need something real and soon. These fantasies are just not doing it for me anymore.

I really need something to believe in. It's not enough to keep hoping and dreaming and waiting with nothing to hope or dream or wait for. I need proof that I'm actually waiting for something. I know only what I see and I see other people so happy and in love. I'm waiting for my turn and I'm not getting my turn. I'm just frustrated. I haven't been on a date in a while and I can't seem to get a date. It's pathetic. If there is hope that I can get a job, maybe there will be another chance, another date. I doubt it will work out. I doubt I'll ever get married, but I'm still alive.

Tomorrow is another day