I have made some big changes and big decisions. It had been rough. I didn't leave the house except to go to work and I slept all day. I was irresponsible and I made a mistake of rushing into things when I wasn't ready.
It's going to take me a long time to really trust someone. It's going to take a long time to get my life together, but I know why I have to do it. I know what I have been waiting for: a chance. I am giving myself a chance. I'm giving life a chance. I'm going to make really big changes and they will all be for the better so that I don't end up bringing out the worst in everyone.
People ask me why I shaved my head. I tell them: "So that a guy can like me for who I am, not for what I look like. Today someone told me that wasn't a good reason. They said that I was pretty and that I shouldn't have shaved my head. I want to be pretty on the inside because that is where it counts the most. Inside where the pain is, I want to fill that void with something else.
I am so much to learn. Life is so short. Life is really short and I have no time to waste on meaningless b.s. I have a life to live. I have a life to learn to love. I have to learn how to love myself before I can even think about falling in love with someone else. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo that says: Love Life across my shoulder blades. Either that or one saying: Hold Fast because you never know what you have until it's gone so you better hold onto it as tight and for as long as you can. You never know when you could lose it. Just like your mind. I lost mine. Time to find myself.
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