Today, lots of thoughts keep going through my head.
A lot of them are negative. Judgements etc.
Trying not to jump to conclusions.
Haven't heard back from that business owner.
I keep thinking that he changed his mind
and that he just hasn't the guts to just tell me.
I don't like thinking these things and it's easy to jump to conclusions.
It's easy to assume things, too. Most people do.
It's possible that he made judgements about me
based on our meeting, but I was prompt.
I didn't leave him waiting for over an hour. He did.
He had my full attention the whole time. I didn't have his.
I could have easily judged him based on those two things.
Even his opinion about my skill level. I was tempted to.
An older version of me wouldn't have waited.
An older version of me would have walked out.
An older version of me would have been offended.
Especially since he never used my name, not once.
He kept calling me Ma'am. I have a name!
But, it is what it is and maybe this wasn't meant for me.
There are little detours like this that come up from time to time.
Times when you think you're getting somewhere when you're not.
The point of it is to try to get somewhere. If I don't, no big deal.
It's not like I'm going back to square one, I'm still at square one. Right?
The thing is that you can't tell everything about a person
by meeting them one time.
If it goes absolutely horribly, then that might be an indication,
but I think it went pretty well overall.
I wasn't late, I paid attention, I did my part.
He has only seen a project of mine that's not even finished, yet.
Judging me based on the incompletion of my work
doesn't say anything about what I can actually do.
If he would rather stick with the guy he already has working for him,
by all means, it's his choice.
But I'd rather know sooner rather than later.
Rather than put in a lot of work in for him, for him to then tell me.
Even if he changes his mind, that is his choice.
I don't have to judge him based on his choices.
Anyway, that's enough speculating for today.
A lot of them are negative. Judgements etc.
Trying not to jump to conclusions.
Haven't heard back from that business owner.
I keep thinking that he changed his mind
and that he just hasn't the guts to just tell me.
I don't like thinking these things and it's easy to jump to conclusions.
It's easy to assume things, too. Most people do.
It's possible that he made judgements about me
based on our meeting, but I was prompt.
I didn't leave him waiting for over an hour. He did.
He had my full attention the whole time. I didn't have his.
I could have easily judged him based on those two things.
Even his opinion about my skill level. I was tempted to.
An older version of me wouldn't have waited.
An older version of me would have walked out.
An older version of me would have been offended.
Especially since he never used my name, not once.
He kept calling me Ma'am. I have a name!
But, it is what it is and maybe this wasn't meant for me.
There are little detours like this that come up from time to time.
Times when you think you're getting somewhere when you're not.
The point of it is to try to get somewhere. If I don't, no big deal.
It's not like I'm going back to square one, I'm still at square one. Right?
The thing is that you can't tell everything about a person
by meeting them one time.
If it goes absolutely horribly, then that might be an indication,
but I think it went pretty well overall.
I wasn't late, I paid attention, I did my part.
He has only seen a project of mine that's not even finished, yet.
Judging me based on the incompletion of my work
doesn't say anything about what I can actually do.
If he would rather stick with the guy he already has working for him,
by all means, it's his choice.
But I'd rather know sooner rather than later.
Rather than put in a lot of work in for him, for him to then tell me.
Even if he changes his mind, that is his choice.
I don't have to judge him based on his choices.
Anyway, that's enough speculating for today.
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