Most of the time, we don't see each other as teachers.
We rarely, if ever, ask: "What can I learn from this person?"
"What does this person have to teach me?"
We just see people as people.
BUT.... Everyone we meet knows something we don't. Everyone.
I get that a lot of people resist learning. That's pride getting in the way.
Too proud to learn something. Too proud to condescend to learn from someone
who seems like they are beneath you in some way.
The only people that are beneath us are people who we THINK are.
With that kind of attitude, we aren't going to learn much from anyone.
I get that people are all like: "Who the f*ck does she think she is?!"
Whenever I try to teach them anything. I get that. I do.
For one, I don't have to think I'm anyone or anything.
For two, neither does anyone. Superiority only comes from a complex.
Complexes are constructs that come from certain views
based on certain beliefs and belief systems.
I'm working on my belief system and it has nothing to do with
thinking or believing I'm better than anyone.
It has to do with improvement and growth. Learning.
Someone once wanted me to teach them something.
Something that isn't considered something that fits their gender role.
So we went somewhere to sit down together, then another male showed up.
And the guy I was teaching pretended not to be interested
because he didn't want to appear any particular way to the other male.
Who gives a f*ck what anyone thinks?! Do what you want to do for YOU!
If you're a dude and you want to learn how to f*cking crochet or knit,
then f*cking learn how to crochet or knit. Who gives a sh*t?!
Why let fear of what someone else might think of you stand in your way?!
Besides, if other people can't mind their own business, that's not your problem.
It's only a problem if you make it a problem.
When you realize that it's not actually a problem, it's no longer a problem.
It is whatever you believe it is and it isn't whatever you believe it isn't.
Since people are "see it to believe it" people,
they only believe it is whatever they believe it is (or isn't)
because they see it that particular way.
But it can actually go both ways. People can believe it to be a certain way
and then see it in that particular way.
We can both believe in something according to our views
or form views according to our beliefs.
But, they both perpetuate our views and perpetuate our beliefs.
Like how this guy viewed his gender roles as being more significant
than the opportunity to learn a new skill.
Because he didn't want to be viewed as acquiring 'attributes'
that are 'attributed' to the opposite gender.
In front of someone of his own gender.
Because of the belief that guys 'shouldn't' be interested in
something that is attributed to what women do.
However, crochet was actually invented by fishermen.
That's how they made their nets out of rope.
Somewhere down the line, women started learning it.
Skills are skills, seeing it as a gender based skill is kind of outdated.
Women can work in construction and farming and all kinds of things.
So why can't men be bakers and childcare providers etc?
They can. There are male nurses etc.
All because they said to f*cking hell with these gender role biases.
"I'm not just some dude, I'm a dude who likes to bake." Whatever.
It takes courage to do what you want to do
because there are people out there who don't think that you should.
But why worry what they think? Why let it stop you?
F*ck, if I let people's opinions about my writing affect me...
Would I be a blogger? Probably not.
I applied to a writing program at an art school when I was going into high school.
They looked at my portfolio and rejected me.
I still remember getting that rejection letter in the mail.
I was 13 or 14 years old at the time, living in my first foster home.
I was already going through a lot of rejection issues, grief issues...
I remember just wanting to die. Because I wasn't "good enough"
to get into some stuck up art school writing program.
Yes, it affected my confidence as a writer. Even my overall confidence.
I was at an age where approval was extremely important to me.
At an age when I didn't know that it didn't have to matter that much.
That it didn't (and doesn't) have to matter
whether or not anyone thinks I'm "good enough."
It took me a really long time to get comfortable letting others read my writing.
When I started blogging, I wasn't exactly in the best mindset.
I didn't even know what to write about. It's not like I even knew very much
about very much of anything. I just kept writing.
At first, very few people read my blog.
It's not like I told everyone: "Hey, I'm a blogger... Read my blog."
Most people have no idea that I blog. They have no idea I write at all.
Maybe they'll find out eventually, maybe not. But it isn't the point.
The point is that I kept going.
14 years later, (almost 15 years), people from all over the world read this.
People from Germany, Romania, Portugal... To name a few places.
Would any of these people read any of my posts had I given up? No.
Had I given up writing after that stupid rejection letter? No.
Just because I wasn't 'good enough' for their program
doesn't mean that I couldn't get any better.
Doesn't mean that I'd never be 'good enough' for anyone, ever.
It just meant that I didn't 'meet' 'their' 'expectations.' That's all.
Where I was going with this is that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
About what you do, what you like to do, what you love to do, what you want to do.
Just do it. Not because you care what others think or might think.
Just do it. Because that's what you like to do, love to do, want to do.
Am I going to ever be a famous blogger? Probably not.
Am I going to ever go 'viral?' Probably not.
Am I doing this to become famous or to go viral? Definitely not.
I write to express myself. I write because I enjoy it. That is all.
Life is too f*cking short not to do things you enjoy doing
or to discover things you enjoy doing
that you didn't know that you enjoy doing
because you were too afraid to even try...
This isn't a f*cking dress rehersal. This is your LIFE. LIVE IT.
I have to tell myself this every day. Because I hold myself back so much.
But for what? So I can be 80 years old and say...
"I wish I (did this or that) when I had the chance..."?!
Ask yourself: "What is something that I will regret not doing?"
Then go do that thing.
Don't use "I didn't have the chance to do it" as an excuse.
GIVE yourself the chance to do it.
Don't let not giving yourself the chance to do something
one of those things you regret.
Life can change so many ways in the matter of days.
But YOU CAN CREATE CHANGE.
You can do ANYTHING differently.
You can START doing things you've wanted to do.
You can STOP doing things you don't want to do.
You can stand still, you can do whatever you choose to do.
You have choices, you can make choices.
You always wanted to be a (whatever)?!
You can start doing things to become a (whatever).
It's up to you. Nobody's going to come along
and just pronounce you a (whatever).
You have to BECOME a (whatever).
But you can, by doing what you know you need to do
to become a (whatever).
So what is ONE thing you can do TODAY
to get you closer to where you want to be?
What's ONE thing you can do tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?
It's up to YOU. Not up to me. Not up to them, any of them.
The actions you take help you with the choices you make.
We rarely, if ever, ask: "What can I learn from this person?"
"What does this person have to teach me?"
We just see people as people.
BUT.... Everyone we meet knows something we don't. Everyone.
I get that a lot of people resist learning. That's pride getting in the way.
Too proud to learn something. Too proud to condescend to learn from someone
who seems like they are beneath you in some way.
The only people that are beneath us are people who we THINK are.
With that kind of attitude, we aren't going to learn much from anyone.
I get that people are all like: "Who the f*ck does she think she is?!"
Whenever I try to teach them anything. I get that. I do.
For one, I don't have to think I'm anyone or anything.
For two, neither does anyone. Superiority only comes from a complex.
Complexes are constructs that come from certain views
based on certain beliefs and belief systems.
I'm working on my belief system and it has nothing to do with
thinking or believing I'm better than anyone.
It has to do with improvement and growth. Learning.
Someone once wanted me to teach them something.
Something that isn't considered something that fits their gender role.
So we went somewhere to sit down together, then another male showed up.
And the guy I was teaching pretended not to be interested
because he didn't want to appear any particular way to the other male.
Who gives a f*ck what anyone thinks?! Do what you want to do for YOU!
If you're a dude and you want to learn how to f*cking crochet or knit,
then f*cking learn how to crochet or knit. Who gives a sh*t?!
Why let fear of what someone else might think of you stand in your way?!
Besides, if other people can't mind their own business, that's not your problem.
It's only a problem if you make it a problem.
When you realize that it's not actually a problem, it's no longer a problem.
It is whatever you believe it is and it isn't whatever you believe it isn't.
Since people are "see it to believe it" people,
they only believe it is whatever they believe it is (or isn't)
because they see it that particular way.
But it can actually go both ways. People can believe it to be a certain way
and then see it in that particular way.
We can both believe in something according to our views
or form views according to our beliefs.
But, they both perpetuate our views and perpetuate our beliefs.
Like how this guy viewed his gender roles as being more significant
than the opportunity to learn a new skill.
Because he didn't want to be viewed as acquiring 'attributes'
that are 'attributed' to the opposite gender.
In front of someone of his own gender.
Because of the belief that guys 'shouldn't' be interested in
something that is attributed to what women do.
However, crochet was actually invented by fishermen.
That's how they made their nets out of rope.
Somewhere down the line, women started learning it.
Skills are skills, seeing it as a gender based skill is kind of outdated.
Women can work in construction and farming and all kinds of things.
So why can't men be bakers and childcare providers etc?
They can. There are male nurses etc.
All because they said to f*cking hell with these gender role biases.
"I'm not just some dude, I'm a dude who likes to bake." Whatever.
It takes courage to do what you want to do
because there are people out there who don't think that you should.
But why worry what they think? Why let it stop you?
F*ck, if I let people's opinions about my writing affect me...
Would I be a blogger? Probably not.
I applied to a writing program at an art school when I was going into high school.
They looked at my portfolio and rejected me.
I still remember getting that rejection letter in the mail.
I was 13 or 14 years old at the time, living in my first foster home.
I was already going through a lot of rejection issues, grief issues...
I remember just wanting to die. Because I wasn't "good enough"
to get into some stuck up art school writing program.
Yes, it affected my confidence as a writer. Even my overall confidence.
I was at an age where approval was extremely important to me.
At an age when I didn't know that it didn't have to matter that much.
That it didn't (and doesn't) have to matter
whether or not anyone thinks I'm "good enough."
It took me a really long time to get comfortable letting others read my writing.
When I started blogging, I wasn't exactly in the best mindset.
I didn't even know what to write about. It's not like I even knew very much
about very much of anything. I just kept writing.
At first, very few people read my blog.
It's not like I told everyone: "Hey, I'm a blogger... Read my blog."
Most people have no idea that I blog. They have no idea I write at all.
Maybe they'll find out eventually, maybe not. But it isn't the point.
The point is that I kept going.
14 years later, (almost 15 years), people from all over the world read this.
People from Germany, Romania, Portugal... To name a few places.
Would any of these people read any of my posts had I given up? No.
Had I given up writing after that stupid rejection letter? No.
Just because I wasn't 'good enough' for their program
doesn't mean that I couldn't get any better.
Doesn't mean that I'd never be 'good enough' for anyone, ever.
It just meant that I didn't 'meet' 'their' 'expectations.' That's all.
Where I was going with this is that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
About what you do, what you like to do, what you love to do, what you want to do.
Just do it. Not because you care what others think or might think.
Just do it. Because that's what you like to do, love to do, want to do.
Am I going to ever be a famous blogger? Probably not.
Am I going to ever go 'viral?' Probably not.
Am I doing this to become famous or to go viral? Definitely not.
I write to express myself. I write because I enjoy it. That is all.
Life is too f*cking short not to do things you enjoy doing
or to discover things you enjoy doing
that you didn't know that you enjoy doing
because you were too afraid to even try...
This isn't a f*cking dress rehersal. This is your LIFE. LIVE IT.
I have to tell myself this every day. Because I hold myself back so much.
But for what? So I can be 80 years old and say...
"I wish I (did this or that) when I had the chance..."?!
Ask yourself: "What is something that I will regret not doing?"
Then go do that thing.
Don't use "I didn't have the chance to do it" as an excuse.
GIVE yourself the chance to do it.
Don't let not giving yourself the chance to do something
one of those things you regret.
Life can change so many ways in the matter of days.
But YOU CAN CREATE CHANGE.
You can do ANYTHING differently.
You can START doing things you've wanted to do.
You can STOP doing things you don't want to do.
You can stand still, you can do whatever you choose to do.
You have choices, you can make choices.
You always wanted to be a (whatever)?!
You can start doing things to become a (whatever).
It's up to you. Nobody's going to come along
and just pronounce you a (whatever).
You have to BECOME a (whatever).
But you can, by doing what you know you need to do
to become a (whatever).
So what is ONE thing you can do TODAY
to get you closer to where you want to be?
What's ONE thing you can do tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?
It's up to YOU. Not up to me. Not up to them, any of them.
The actions you take help you with the choices you make.
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