I believe in silver linings, but gotta look for them sometimes.
The last time I was in the hospital, I was talking to a guy.
He was there because he sliced the tip of his thumb off.
He said he was cutting veggies.
I said, "At least you didn't cut the whole thing off."
Then he said, "Always a silver lining."
Then I had to walk home, in the cold. It was snowing.
All I could think of was:
"At least I live within walking distance."
"At least I'm not still waiting in the waiting room."
"At least I can go home now."
"At least it wasn't as bad as I thought it was."
So I can see the silver linings. Just it can be hard at times.
Depending on the situation.
But more depending on how I feel about the situation.
Sometimes I can change how I feel about it
by changing how I look at it, but it can be hard sometimes.
It's possible to think outside the box, though.
Even though sometimes we can't see our way out of it.
The way out is possible. It may not seem it is, but it is.
Not everything is the way it seems.
I've been wrong before. We all have.
Just knowing that it's possible I am wrong about something
is comforting in a way. Because the answer still exists.
Because it means that there's another way to look at it.
It reminds me of a long time ago. I knew a guy.
He was convinced I was a certain way or had an agenda.
I kept thinking "He doesn't know me at all."
The more I kept trying to convince him that he was wrong about me,
the more he was convinced that he was right about me all along.
It was just frustrating. I cared about this guy, a lot.
More than he will ever know. I don't talk to him anymore.
It wasn't even my choice, it was his. But we both had to move on
despite what could have been. But even saying that now...
It was not meant to be.
Certain things do not work out because they are not meant to.
Because there are other things that will happen because they were meant to.
I was at a crossroads with that guy.
Caring about him and wanting the best for him.
Wanting to be the support in his life that he wasn't getting from anyone.
It took me a long time to realize that I couldn't be that person for him.
It wasn't only because he wasn't letting me,
but it was because he wasn't ready. Which was okay.
Also, I wasn't really ready, either.
It took me a while to fall in love after that. I was scared.
After so many times of getting hurt, psychologically and emotionally.
I started asking myself "Why am I putting myself through this again?"
"Why should I open myself up to people who do not understand me?"
I started asking myself why people just didn't understand me, at all.
Was it because of me? Was I only letting them see so much of me?
Was I keeping myself confined? For fear of getting hurt again?
Was it because they just couldn't see me the way I see myself?
Was it because they chose to see me the way they wanted to?
And not the way I really am?
Or is it a bit of both? It's probably both. Me and them.
It can't be ALL me and it can't be ALL them.
Just like it can't be ALL the way I see things,
and it can't be ALL of the fault of the situation I'm in.
Because most of the time, not ALL the time, but most...
I CAUSED the situation. The situation doesn't cause my reactions.
I chose my choices, or failed to make choices.
Which resulted in my situation.
My situations didn't choose me to happen to.
They just happen. So I can't blame the situation for being whatever.
Well, they don't just 'happen.' I caused something to start happening,
then I experienced the results of the choices I made...
Sometimes bad experiences are the results of the bad choices I made.
Sometimes they are the results of the bad choices others have made,
or the failure to make good choices.
However and why things come about,
they are a culmination of something set into motion.
No matter who set it into motion. There's always a catalyst.
A catalyst that turns into a crystalyst.
Things manifest. But there is that hint in the word: 'Man'ifest
Would anything manifest if it were not for mankind?
I suppose things manifest for other creatures in the world.
Not just for us. I'm sure animals can make choices, too.
Just their choices don't appear to affect them
as much as the choices we make.
But, then again, I could be wrong.
The last time I was in the hospital, I was talking to a guy.
He was there because he sliced the tip of his thumb off.
He said he was cutting veggies.
I said, "At least you didn't cut the whole thing off."
Then he said, "Always a silver lining."
Then I had to walk home, in the cold. It was snowing.
All I could think of was:
"At least I live within walking distance."
"At least I'm not still waiting in the waiting room."
"At least I can go home now."
"At least it wasn't as bad as I thought it was."
So I can see the silver linings. Just it can be hard at times.
Depending on the situation.
But more depending on how I feel about the situation.
Sometimes I can change how I feel about it
by changing how I look at it, but it can be hard sometimes.
It's possible to think outside the box, though.
Even though sometimes we can't see our way out of it.
The way out is possible. It may not seem it is, but it is.
Not everything is the way it seems.
I've been wrong before. We all have.
Just knowing that it's possible I am wrong about something
is comforting in a way. Because the answer still exists.
Because it means that there's another way to look at it.
It reminds me of a long time ago. I knew a guy.
He was convinced I was a certain way or had an agenda.
I kept thinking "He doesn't know me at all."
The more I kept trying to convince him that he was wrong about me,
the more he was convinced that he was right about me all along.
It was just frustrating. I cared about this guy, a lot.
More than he will ever know. I don't talk to him anymore.
It wasn't even my choice, it was his. But we both had to move on
despite what could have been. But even saying that now...
It was not meant to be.
Certain things do not work out because they are not meant to.
Because there are other things that will happen because they were meant to.
I was at a crossroads with that guy.
Caring about him and wanting the best for him.
Wanting to be the support in his life that he wasn't getting from anyone.
It took me a long time to realize that I couldn't be that person for him.
It wasn't only because he wasn't letting me,
but it was because he wasn't ready. Which was okay.
Also, I wasn't really ready, either.
It took me a while to fall in love after that. I was scared.
After so many times of getting hurt, psychologically and emotionally.
I started asking myself "Why am I putting myself through this again?"
"Why should I open myself up to people who do not understand me?"
I started asking myself why people just didn't understand me, at all.
Was it because of me? Was I only letting them see so much of me?
Was I keeping myself confined? For fear of getting hurt again?
Was it because they just couldn't see me the way I see myself?
Was it because they chose to see me the way they wanted to?
And not the way I really am?
Or is it a bit of both? It's probably both. Me and them.
It can't be ALL me and it can't be ALL them.
Just like it can't be ALL the way I see things,
and it can't be ALL of the fault of the situation I'm in.
Because most of the time, not ALL the time, but most...
I CAUSED the situation. The situation doesn't cause my reactions.
I chose my choices, or failed to make choices.
Which resulted in my situation.
My situations didn't choose me to happen to.
They just happen. So I can't blame the situation for being whatever.
Well, they don't just 'happen.' I caused something to start happening,
then I experienced the results of the choices I made...
Sometimes bad experiences are the results of the bad choices I made.
Sometimes they are the results of the bad choices others have made,
or the failure to make good choices.
However and why things come about,
they are a culmination of something set into motion.
No matter who set it into motion. There's always a catalyst.
A catalyst that turns into a crystalyst.
Things manifest. But there is that hint in the word: 'Man'ifest
Would anything manifest if it were not for mankind?
I suppose things manifest for other creatures in the world.
Not just for us. I'm sure animals can make choices, too.
Just their choices don't appear to affect them
as much as the choices we make.
But, then again, I could be wrong.
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