Been chatting with a few people. Met someone who has similar interests, that's always nice. Like same hobbies. Something to talk about. Was nice to discover.
I have to learn not to get upset. If someone walks out of my life, I have to let them. It is their choice. Even if I don't like it, I have to accept it. It's life. People will come and people will go. People don't have to make sense any more than I do. Really, I am not perfect so I am not expecting anyone else to be.
But I tried.... "A man convinced against his will IS a man of the same opinion, still." I don't remember where I got that from, but it fits in this case. Stubborn does what stubborn does.
The thing with really judgemental people is that they are not even aware of how their judgements affect them. They don't realize how unnecessary judgement is. What the consequences are. They just do it, and when they see the effects, they keep wondering why things happen to them. Judgements. The thoughts, actions, emotions behind the perceptions caused by the judgement they made about the person, about the circumstances, or the situation.
This is why people argue. Judgemental beliefs.
"I'm right, you're wrong."
"I choose not to accept your view for consideration."
"Your view is not valid to me."
"I have nothing to learn from this."
"I have nothing to learn from you."
"You don't know what you are talking about."
"What you said/did/think is wrong."
"What I said/did/think is right."
Judgement is probably the cause of most wars. I know it is the cause of hate. The cause of suffering, violence, abuse. Judgement skews perceptions. It depends on how people choose to look at things. If they are going to look at things the way they always look at things, things will not change. People have to be willing to look at things differently, be more open minded. Becoming non-judgemental means opening up your mind to new possibilities. But a lot of people can't let go of judgement. They have become too involved in that way of thinking things. That they can't imagine not thinking that way, the way they've been thinking all their lives. I've been taught about judging, we all have been conditioned to think that way. But the good news is that we can recondition our thinking. When we start to do that, things change. Just by starting!
Of course it's really hard to do. It really is. But over time it gets easier. When you catch yourself (becoming aware of) judging, you dismiss the judgement from your mind. Then it doesn't generate any thoughts or feelings, or cause you to act on it. Because you pushed it away. So this is what I'm starting to do. I feel better. It's not always easy. It's hard at first.
It's part of my project that I've been working on. I'm working on myself. I'm working on the first need which is security. Becoming secure with myself. Which, of course, is important.
So been working on the 11 steps of that. On the first three, so far. Which are seemingly easy, but are hard to get started in. When you have to flip yourself and your life around, it's hard. But things do change, just by starting.
I have to learn not to get upset. If someone walks out of my life, I have to let them. It is their choice. Even if I don't like it, I have to accept it. It's life. People will come and people will go. People don't have to make sense any more than I do. Really, I am not perfect so I am not expecting anyone else to be.
But I tried.... "A man convinced against his will IS a man of the same opinion, still." I don't remember where I got that from, but it fits in this case. Stubborn does what stubborn does.
The thing with really judgemental people is that they are not even aware of how their judgements affect them. They don't realize how unnecessary judgement is. What the consequences are. They just do it, and when they see the effects, they keep wondering why things happen to them. Judgements. The thoughts, actions, emotions behind the perceptions caused by the judgement they made about the person, about the circumstances, or the situation.
This is why people argue. Judgemental beliefs.
"I'm right, you're wrong."
"I choose not to accept your view for consideration."
"Your view is not valid to me."
"I have nothing to learn from this."
"I have nothing to learn from you."
"You don't know what you are talking about."
"What you said/did/think is wrong."
"What I said/did/think is right."
Judgement is probably the cause of most wars. I know it is the cause of hate. The cause of suffering, violence, abuse. Judgement skews perceptions. It depends on how people choose to look at things. If they are going to look at things the way they always look at things, things will not change. People have to be willing to look at things differently, be more open minded. Becoming non-judgemental means opening up your mind to new possibilities. But a lot of people can't let go of judgement. They have become too involved in that way of thinking things. That they can't imagine not thinking that way, the way they've been thinking all their lives. I've been taught about judging, we all have been conditioned to think that way. But the good news is that we can recondition our thinking. When we start to do that, things change. Just by starting!
Of course it's really hard to do. It really is. But over time it gets easier. When you catch yourself (becoming aware of) judging, you dismiss the judgement from your mind. Then it doesn't generate any thoughts or feelings, or cause you to act on it. Because you pushed it away. So this is what I'm starting to do. I feel better. It's not always easy. It's hard at first.
It's part of my project that I've been working on. I'm working on myself. I'm working on the first need which is security. Becoming secure with myself. Which, of course, is important.
So been working on the 11 steps of that. On the first three, so far. Which are seemingly easy, but are hard to get started in. When you have to flip yourself and your life around, it's hard. But things do change, just by starting.
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