It's weird how when we are 'ready' how things can progress. I was given a book called: "Choices" and I've gotten to Chapter 12. I see so many patterns in myself these days. These patterns come from negative programming. We are programmed by others AND we program ourselves.
So I'm at this point in my life where I'm really starting to reflect a lot more, rather than project. What I was projecting was all my negative programming. It hasn't been until I started going to meetings, workshops, reading, doing research that I actually started to SEE things as they ARE, rather than seeing things as I THOUGHT they were. If that makes sense.
I had this backward perception so I kept moving backwards instead of forwards. This is what drinking did to me. Since I quit drinking, I've been more self aware, more aware in general. Self awareness if what I'm striving for. Because without self awareness, there isn't any self control, self respect, or self actualization. I've been living in a prison of my own making. Nobody put me there but myself. The key is on the inside of my cell. The key being "choice." By making choices, each day, every day, we can find this key and keep turning it until we open the door. Then we choose to step out, or stay in. Everything is a choice. What we THINK, what we SEE and look for, How we FEEL, what we DO about how we think and/or feel, what we DO to stay motivated, to stay focused, to advance in life.
Just thinking about and knowing that there ARE choices and I AM able to choose has made such a difference, even if I'm still learning to MAKE choices. It's a major breakthrough for me. I keep thinking that in order to have a breakthrough, a lot of people have a breakdown. I keep thinking about something someone said in the workshop on willpower about the path of least resistance. I made a little diagram to show what I mean...
So I'm at this point in my life where I'm really starting to reflect a lot more, rather than project. What I was projecting was all my negative programming. It hasn't been until I started going to meetings, workshops, reading, doing research that I actually started to SEE things as they ARE, rather than seeing things as I THOUGHT they were. If that makes sense.
I had this backward perception so I kept moving backwards instead of forwards. This is what drinking did to me. Since I quit drinking, I've been more self aware, more aware in general. Self awareness if what I'm striving for. Because without self awareness, there isn't any self control, self respect, or self actualization. I've been living in a prison of my own making. Nobody put me there but myself. The key is on the inside of my cell. The key being "choice." By making choices, each day, every day, we can find this key and keep turning it until we open the door. Then we choose to step out, or stay in. Everything is a choice. What we THINK, what we SEE and look for, How we FEEL, what we DO about how we think and/or feel, what we DO to stay motivated, to stay focused, to advance in life.
Just thinking about and knowing that there ARE choices and I AM able to choose has made such a difference, even if I'm still learning to MAKE choices. It's a major breakthrough for me. I keep thinking that in order to have a breakthrough, a lot of people have a breakdown. I keep thinking about something someone said in the workshop on willpower about the path of least resistance. I made a little diagram to show what I mean...
So this is how I used to think... That to reach a goal, I had to choose the arrow that goes straight up, to directly reach the goal, but it doesn't happen that way in reality. Sometimes you have to go in another direction and THEN when you reach a certain point, you can change course and head to the direction towards the goal, indirectly. Like sailing, you can't sail against the wind. You have to USE the wind to PUSH you. It depends which way the wind is blowing... I heard something in a song. I think it was by The Rolling Stones... "You don't need a weatherman to tell which way the wind blows." I'm talking about the winds of change. With change comes chance. When I make changes, I'll have chances. When I was drinking, I never really thought about any of this, I wasn't thinking at all for the most part. If I WAS thinking, I was probably thinking impulsively (gratification). You know what is truly gratifying? It's not fulfilling an impulsive desire, it's the act of gratitude.
I'm not sure where I heard this, but... I heard somewhere that when a person is TRULY thankful, they experience MORE reasons to be thankful. And that is The law of Resonation. I think the flip side to resonation is resignation.
res·o·nate (rĕz′ə-nāt′)
v. res·o·nat·ed, res·o·nat·ing, res·o·nates
v.intr.
1. To exhibit or produce resonance or resonant effects.
2. To evoke a feeling of shared emotion or belief: "It is a demonology [that] seems to resonate among secular and religious voters alike"(Tamar Jacoby).
3. To correspond closely or harmoniously: "Symbolism matters, especially if the symbols resonate with the larger message" (William Greider).
v.tr.
To cause to resound.
res·ig·na·tion (rĕz′ĭg-nā′shən)
n.
1. The act or an instance of resigning.
2. An oral or written statement that one is resigning a position or an office.
3. Unresisting acceptance of something as inescapable; submission. See Synonyms at patience.
There are 4 levels of self-talk. That's why resignation came into mind and the word association thing...
1) Negative resignation
2) Should, Could, Wish, Would ( the desire for change, but produces no change)
3) Vow (produces change through commitment)
4) Next time (reflecting on things that didn't work to make them work the next time)
The resignation had to do with 'position' so I resigned myself to my old identity as an alcoholic. Like "I am an alcoholic, that's just how things are."
By refusing to change, you resign yourself to your own fate. You don't see what the universe wants for you, you only see what you want for yourself, and not even that. The impulses tell you what you THINK you want. Self control tells you what you DO want.
So switch EVERYTHING from backwards thinking is a CHOICE to make. I'm making my choice because I know what my choices are now.
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