Getting More

Seems like I got more out of the last hospital visit
than the one before that....

Getting appointments with counsellors....
And into CMHA, too.

Got some sessions with counsellors already booked
for next week...

I really don't know how I'm going to get through this, 
but there are only two ways out of this.

Through, and OUT.
I have enough pills to make that happen, 
but.... I'm struggling to make my way out of this.

I had my weak moments.
I made my mistakes....

And OUT would be a coward's way.
And seeking protection was not the best way, either.

My friends try to give me hope
like there still might be some, in time....
If time is truly on my side....

And if it is... I don't have a lot to be scared of....
"The only thing to fear is fear itself...."
"Living in fear is no way to live...."

I took some medication....
Let's see if it will work for me....
I need to be able to sleep....

Because things seem to get worse for me when I can't. 

Maybe I think things are worse than they are....
Could be....

Anyway, I need to try to sleep.