Sorry

I`m sorry I haven`t written for a long time. I guess I just didn`t have anything to write about. Just been working and being a Mommy. That doesn`t leave much time for myself these days.

I`m still alive and nothing exciting has been going on. I went to a garage sale and bought a loom, and a cassette player. Now I can listen to my cassettes any time I want to. I`ve had little time to work on my art stuff, or my writing (as you can see). This weekend I had to clean up, as usual. Through the week, my place suffers because I don`t want to clean up at home. After cleaning every day. So I did a bit of laundry and cleaned `the dungeon`. I want to get it so that I can find things easier. I hate looking for things in my place. Because I know that they are there, but I have no idea where. I`d rather give something away instead of lose it. Just like my Grandfather always said.

On Tuesday, I`m going with my son on his school field trip. His very first school field trip. He is so excited about it. I am, too. It means I won`t get much sleep, but it will be worth it because it is important to him that I`m there for him. My mother never went on any of the school trips with me and I always wanted her to show some interest in what I was doing. So I know how important this is to him to have me there with him.

Anyway, I`ve been doing something that I told myself that I wouldn`t do. But I keep telling myself that it is OK to do this, even though I feel guilty afterwards. I`m not supposed to feel guilty about it because it takes all the fun out of it. I just can`t help it.

Maybe I just need to sit down and think about what I really want. Do I keep doing this and feeling guilty about it? Or do I not enjoy it while it lasts and have nothing to feel guilty about? I need to sit down and think about it. I know what I want, but it seems like I can`t have my cake and eat it too. In this particular situation anyway.